D is for...

Diagnosis

I got a call from my rheumatologist yesterday. I had called the office earlier in the day to talk to the nurse and find out what kind of pain medicine I could use at night to help me sleep. I spoke with the nurse, asked a few more questions, and waited for a return call. When the phone rang, I picked it up expecting the nurse, but it was the doctor. Now, I don't know about you, but I have rarely talked to any of my doctors on the phone! The nurses are almost always the ones who do the phone calls, so when it was the doctor on the phone my first thought was "This can't be good!" Based on all of the blood work that I had done last week, he is diagnosing me with Rheumatoid Arthritis.

Drugs

He gave me a little bit of information about RA, and then told me about the medicines that he would prescribe for me. The medicine that they use to treat RA is a chemotherapy drug! I was just a little SUPER freaked out! He said because I will be taking such a low dose, that most of the side effects won't happen....but it is still a chemo drug which is kind of scary! Depending on how my body reacts to the drug I could be on it for a short time or I could be on it forever. I will also have to take a folic acid supplement and I have to do blood work every 6 weeks to make sure the medicine isn't effecting my liver function.

I am really hopeful that this medicine will make me feel better and help me stay that way for a long time. It is kind of difficult to deal with the fact that I have a chronic illness, one that will never really go away. I think it may take a while for it to really sink in...and it will definitely take a while for me to fully accept it! We are praying that this is just a flare up of the disease, and that once the medicine gets it under control, I will be able to go back to my normal life.

Dealing

Other than dealing with the idea of a forever illness, we are also dealing with the fact that we may not be able to have any more kids. Jason and I had just recently started talking about having one more baby...but that is completely out of the question for right now. I CAN NOT get pregnant will I am taking this medicine, or for at least three months after I have stopped taking it {assuming that I will be able to stop at some point}. I have always felt like four kids was the right number for us, so we are trusting God with that fourth child! Adoption has been tossed around a little in the past, mainly because I really want a little girl...and Jason's genes obviously produce lots of little boys! We never thought adoption would be a necessity, just that it was an option. No matter how this turns out, we are trusting that God has a plan for family...three kids or four!


Determination


Eli is determined to keep my on my toes through all of this! He has grown up so much in the past two weeks. He sat up by himself for the first time. He can {and will} hold his own bottle now. He is getting another cute little tooth. And he is CRAWLING!! I know he is 7 months old, and it is about time he started crawling, he is just changing so fast! He just decided to take off one day last week. He has seriously gone from a sweet, happy lump of a baby to a fully mobile baby in less than a week! He is already getting into my laundry piles and the big boys' toys! Other than being SUPER determined....he is definitely a great DISTRACTION from all the stuff that is going in my life right now.

Thank you to everyone for their kind words, thoughts, and prayers. I am hoping to be back to {normal, no talk of sickness} blogging soon. I may ever post a picture for the I Heart Faces contest today!