Deep Thoughts

Life is strange sometimes.

Do you ever wonder if everything {and I mean everything} in your life happens for a reason?Even down to the tiniest thing that you do or say. I don't know if I believe in coincedince...fate...or some other word to describe things in life happening for a set purpose. But I get a little excited when things DO seem like they have a purpose in my life! Do you ever feel like "WOW! That happened for a reason...and it could change my life."? Is it our own mind making things fit into our lives the way we want it too? Or is it God, confirming what we already had thought was right for our lives?

Are you confused and/or curious yet?

Let me explain a little....as best I can anyway!

I have always seen myself with four kids. It looked like we were on our way there too. Especially since Jason and I had talked about trying for another baby, oh probably right about now! But things changed when I got sick...and I am left wondering if this is all in God's plan {actually I don't think God is surprised by this, and I KNOW it is in God's plan...I just don't know how it all fits together just yet}.

In the past, Jason and I had talked about adoption...mainly because I desperately really want a little girl and his family has a very strong history of only having males. But, it never really felt right to adopt when we could have our own healthy children...even though adoption has been on my heart and in my mind for a while now. It just didn't seem like the right time...or the right circumstance. Now that having another baby is basically out of the question...adoption seems more and more like it is being put in our lives for a reason. Like it is finally time. God's plan is playing itself out. All these things over the past few months have happened for a reason.

It's not like we have even started the process or really done anything besides just talk about it. But I feel like "the signs are there", maybe not all of them, but some at least! Which leads me back to what I was saying about the tiniest things in life having a purpose.

There is an elderly lady in our church that I made fast friends with a few years ago. Since I have been sick, she has called to check on me and prayed with me over the phone a few times. But she has really been wanting to come for a visit. Well she called this week while we were gone to town, so I called back and she and her husband came over for a little while. During her visit we were talking about the boys and I said something about always wanting four kids but that we probably wouldn't be able to have anymore. She said she had always wanted four also, but she had to settled for two...because she had ADOPTED both of her children!

I don't know why we talked about this. I have known her for more than two years and we have never discussed it before. But just the mention of it gave me chill bumps. Like she had come for a visit {and I almost put off returning her call} and just happened to mentioned that her kids were adopted because that is what God wanted to happen! Coincidence.....fate....whatever you call it, it gave me some major chill bumps...and a little bit of peace about all the feeling that have been floating around in my head and my heart!

I know it will probably be awhile before we actually put things into motion {or maybe not...God may have different plans}, but just that tiny little conversation...something that most people wouldn't think twice about...seems to have the potential to really change my life!